Wednesday, February 2, 2011

A blogging addiction?

We finished work early today for a change and I got back planning to sleep. I had been up for most of last night resuscitating a lady who had an unpleasant encounter with a truck driven by a drunken driver. It did not go too well for her. She came to the hospital in shock and was taken to the operation theatre where under the brutal surgeon's knife, her spleen was removed. She is on the mend now, by the grace of God, but will live her whole life with the Damocles' sword of OPSI (life-threatening infection following removal of the spleen) hanging over her head.

While there was relief at the successful outcome of the resuscitation and operation, there was also tiredness after the loss of so much sleep and adrenaline. Of course, during my days as a registrar in Vellore, this used to happen once or twice a week, at least, with no major side effects (except that I had developed the embarrassing habit of dropping off to sleep in the middle of conversations, classes and once or twice, even during operations I was holding a retractor on!!). But now, it seems my age is fast catching up with me. Any night where my sleep is interrupted (for reasons other than blogging!), my next day is a little bit of a blur and my mood is rather like a mother who has taken her twin two year-old boys to the supermarket with her - snappy!

So when it appeared that we would finish our day much earlier than usual today, I jumped at the chance to get back home and catch up on my missed sleep. But this is where an interesting thing happened. By the time I reached home and changed, my tiredness had vanished. And all that was running through my brain was the fact that I had not posted a piece last night. And that I had about 3 extra hours for myself in which I could do exactly what I liked! Of course, there were many things that called for my attention. A desperately needed haircut. Some last minute shopping for ingredients for a meal we are hosting tomorrow for a friend. And then cooking the meal after buying the ingredients. Not to mention a meeting this evening that will likely prevent any useful activity till late at night. All these things were like dust and ashes to me. My beeline was for the computer and my beloved blogosphere! All I wanted to do was to put up the many posts that my mind has been germinating for so long, but never had the time to actually put down. To surf my favourite other blogs to see what was hot and what was not in blogland. And of course, to see if any kind soul had favoured me with some feedback!

As I write this post now with my grace period half done, I realise I might have made a mistake in my prioritisation (again!!). That my hair won't cut itself. That starvation of self is acceptable, but starvation of a guest just because I had to post a blog is not! That it just may be possible that what Amy says is true - I am getting a tad too attached to this stuff! (Her words are usually a tad stronger!!). So to prove that my fascination is not an addiction I have to drag myself away! For how long? Well, that remains to be seen!!

7 comments:

  1. This post asked for a comment - so here it is! I think the blog is a good middle ground - there is no serious risk of being looked at as a 'writer', with all its attendant preconceived halos, while one gets to whet and appease the need to write - wishing you many more posts - and yes lots more comments!

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  2. well, just keep on writing here by taking break in between from your other assignments...
    couple of times i have been here at ur blog and found some good stuff to read on....

    Best Wishes,
    irfan

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  3. Well AJM, it looks like Amy's strong words have struck a nerve. You really are trying to stay away!

    Just one question - how many times a day do you think about this blog and regret having to force yourself not to post? Or do you still sneak a glance every now and then to check for comments? If so, are you really over your addiction? Sorry, just fanning the flames. ;-)

    This is one of the downsides to being married. You adopt a new conscience, to live alongside your own. And this one is much louder and man, can it nag!

    You have been "wifed"!

    - The Black Mamba

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  4. Thanks guys! Appreciate your encouragement! And Black Mamba, if you have the opportunity to be 'wifed' by a wonderful person like Amy, it's really worth it!! As for my staying away - it was thanks to work. This is the first time in 3 days I have accessed the internet/blog. And as for the addiction - well, it still remains, but I guess it is not so strong as to prevent my activities of daily living to continue!! Like Irfan said, this is fortunately or unfortunately just a break from my other assignments and until I find a gold mine, it is likely to remain so! This is just as Renita said, an attempt to whet my appetite for writing and put some thoughts out there that a lot of us think, but are often scared to speak! But your comments are just great - you are turning out to be a sort of conscience for the blog! Thanks for keeping me honest!! Will post my (long overdue) reply to your other comments today as well!

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  5. i am here to thank you for being kind enough to spare ur time at my space, and giving ur views there... i m elated , really...
    when ever time permits plz hav a look at my new post....
    convey my sincere regards to ur better half...
    Regards,
    irfan

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  6. The classic statement of the alcoholic - "addicted - of course not - I am totally in control!"

    The classic statement of the blogaholic....

    Whether you are addicted or not (and I think we know the answer ... and that of yours truly's condition too) one thing is sure - there are a lot of us who enjoy reading you bro.

    Keep banging those keys bro!

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  7. I empathise with you, fellow addict, although my addiction leans more towards facebook!

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